Feedback [Aftermath Roleplays] ★彡

[Deleted]

Alright folks...

This is like the first Calvin Harris rp I've done outside of the fed I made him in. I know that essentially I'm starting all over again and that means whatever worked for me elsewhere. Might not work for me here. I gotta find a certain balance, advance, and what not I'm sure. I know that my rps aren't the greatest. I know I could have done more. Then again I'm my own worst critic as I'd imagine a lot of people are. That being said though I figured I'd leave it to the general public. Ask for some feedback and find out what others think. I've linked the two rps below. Any and all feedback. Both positive and negative would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

THE END OF THE ROAD?
SENSELESS VIOLENCE

[Deleted]

The Patriots cheat? That's news to me. I'm kidding. I read your first promo and I really enjoyed it. I like the fact that you introduced your past Federation here, as well as your characters frustration in never being able to win the World Championship there, despite being there for over three years. You could really use that material alone as a building block. You have a solid character and good writing skills. Starting a new fed with new people and personalities is never easy, but perhaps a fresh start will do you some justice? Just keep putting in the work and I can pretty much guarantee you will be in a Title picture of some sort before you know it. 

I plan on reading your second promo before the weekend. Keep up the good work. I look forward in reading more of your work in the upcoming weeks. 

PS. I HATE THE PATRIOTS!