feedback please...

[Deleted]

what do you guys think of my latest roleplay?

[Deleted]

Oct 3, 2015 12:06:35 GMT -5 @fuentez said:

what do you guys think of my latest roleplay?

RP: A Win Finally...Who Knows

Handler: Fuentez

Overview thoughts: Fun, but not really captivating.

RP Breakdown (1-5 scale)

Scene description: 3

Character Development: 2

Shoot: 2

Flow: 4

Match Relevancy: 5

Overall Rating:  2.5 out of 5

Critical Review:

VERY CRITICAL REVIEW AHEAD. DO NOT READ IF YOUR FEELS ARE GOING TO GET HURT!!!!































You're still here? Ok, that means you want to get better.

- One thing that is obvious right off the bat is that it seems like you have no knowledge of the Mexican culture and heritage in professional wrestling. Mexico and wrestling are almost synonymous (See: Lucha Libre), but Juan Fuentez just seems like another Caucasian with an Alberto Del Rio picture base.

He doesn't speak like he hails from Brazil or wherever he's supposed to be from. Brazil just doesn't seem to fit. Everything about Juan Fuentez seems to be off in a way. Everything about him just seems like it was thrown together at the last minute and it really comes across in your promos. You can't just put together a pick and choose character like this and expect to win every match that you're in. It doesn't work that way. You have to be wholly invested in your character. Everything about him/her should be mapped out to the nitty gritty.

Say you have a Southern Baptist style character, if he was speaking like a 17 year old from Ohio it's not going to seem realistic.

You have to have some realism in your character. Juan Fuentez should be calling people "pendejos" and telling people to "chupa mi velga". If he's talking like some crackuh ass crackuh, it just doesn't seem like you're invested in the character enough to go the extra mile and make him legitimate.

Another thing, there are no such thing as neutral characters. I know everyone wants to be the "lone wolf" bad mother fucker, but neutral characters slip through the cracks. Juan seems to be leaning more towards the HEEL side of the spectrum, so I recommend making him go full HEEL.

Suggestions:

My advice would be to repackage Juan Fuentez. If you want to get him over, you're going to need an interesting story to go with it. Trust me when I say, Rissi has seen a LOT in his time. He's especially seen the newcomer who comes in and thinks he's better than everyone else. That shit just isn't going to fly in 2015.

I would make Juan Fuentez an unmasked Lucha who has fled his home in shame. It would explain his attitude and it would be an interesting story to tell, given you do it right.

Your promos aren't terrible. Don't get me wrong, it just doesn't seem like you have your heart in the Juan Fuentez character. That's just the vibe I get when I'm reading.