Post by Chelsea LeClair on Feb 10, 2024 18:43:59 GMT -5
January 22, 2024 - 12:04 AM
Chelsea LeClair is hurting quite a bit on the hours after Retribution. She’s having a quiet late night social call with her husband Kevin and they’re both about halfway through their meals with neither one having said a word up to this point. Chelsea is noticing that Kevin is really in a despondent mood at this point. She knows that something is bothering him and throughout their relationship, they’ve always been honest with each other even if it may hurt. Even though she knows this might be once of those instances where it hurts, she decides to break the ice.
Chelsea: So…?
Kevin looks at her.
Chelsea: This is pretty weird…
Kevin: How do you think I feel? I’m exhausted, Chels.
Chelsea: Yeah, I understand that last night’s show was a bit much and that I couldn’t compete in the Rumble because of everything that happened…
Kevin: I’m not talking about the Rumble…
Kevin lets out a sigh.
Kevin: I’m talking about you and Casey…
Chelsea lets out a sigh, realizing that this subject was going to come up sooner rather than later. She absolutely feels sorry for her husband, knowing that he’s caught between two women that he cares about very much.
Chelsea: You know I have tried my hardest to get along with her again but…
Kevin: Chelsea, I need you to please listen to me for a second. Do you realize how awkward this has been for me, getting caught between you two all the damn time? It just never stops. I know Casey can be a bit much, but at the same time, I don’t think you’ve ever really tried to address the fact that she feels that you “stole” me from her.
Chelsea: You and I both know that I didn’t, and I never would. What am I supposed to tell her? She’s got that belief stuck in her head.
Kevin: This whole rivalry between you both is going to get worse before it gets better and for me, personally? I don’t know how much I want to be involved. It’s tearing me apart…
Chelsea: Kevin…
Kevin: You’re my wife and the mother of our twins and we’ve had some amazing times together. We’ve overcome so much. We managed to start a family in spite of the fact that you couldn’t carry because of your past drug use and such. We’ve managed to somehow, someway get through the challenge of raising two newborns instead of one. But this rift between you both is just killing me. I understand Casey’s attitude has been grating, but that’s my sister… my TWIN sister, at that…
Whatever negative feelings that were going through the EHWF Junior Heavyweight Champion just became amplified.
Kevin: I’m sick of being caught in the middle of this. You both used to get along so well. In fact, it was your former friendship that resulted in you and I getting together. I’m worried that it’s starting to affect your career a little bit…
Chelsea: Is it? I mean… I understand where you’re coming from in terms of being caught in the middle. When this rift between Casey and I started, I had no idea it would last so long. But she’s so damn stubborn and it’s hard to get through to…
Kevin: Chelsea… please…
Chelsea: What am I supposed to say? What else am I supposed to do? I’ve TRIED to fix this, Kevin! When only one person is willing to…
Kevin: Will you please stop putting ALL the blame on Casey? You’re the one that refuses to even listen to what she has to say because you think what she has to say sounds ridiculous. She’s been telling you that she feels you “stole me” from her but rather than hear out her feelings, you dismiss it as if there’s no way to get through to her. You haven’t even “tried” to fix anything. I’m not taking her side. I’m not taking yours. You need to figure this out. Sure, you’re a double champion right now, but sometimes I feel like this whole thing has sucked the joy out of your career for you…
Chelsea, in her heart, doesn’t agree with that last part regarding her wrestling career. However, having just heard that she doesn’t even hear Casey out, something which she knows is true despite the fact that she doesn’t want to admit it, she manages to find enough patient in her heart to listen to what he has to say.
Kevin: You had an amazing journey in EHWF to win your title there. But leading up to that? You were an emotional wreck. Thank goodness cameras don’t capture that. I’m glad I’m one of the very few that has seen how the business really takes a toll on you. It was hard seeing you broken up and broken down through all of the stuff you were suffering through. I lost count of the nights you cried yourself to sleep because of some awful attack you went through in EHWF. I get it. Being attacked repeatedly by the same people and being stabbed in the back a couple of times wasn’t fun. But it hurt seeing you like that so much.
Chelsea continues to listen as she tries to find the words in her head.
Kevin: I really don’t want to get into the occasional instances on Twitter where you’ve expressed that you’re tired of being the bridesmaid and how easily you let a loss or something negative bother you. I just don’t.
Chelsea: If I’m so fragile, why did you marry me?
Kevin: SEE? Case in point.
Chelsea: Sorry I…
Chelsea lets out a sigh.
Chelsea: …I didn’t expect this today. It was hard enough having to team with that AWFUL woman from 5BW and then things between Casey and I getting even more crazy and I sometimes feel overwhelmed like I don’t know what to do and this is one of those times. You are so patient with me and I appreciate that more than I can put into words.
Kevin: We’re a team, okay? We always will be. I’m not going to leave your side. I understand how hard you have it. It wasn’t that long ago that Casey suffered through a horrible wrestling experience, remember? I really think she’s still broken from that and… maybe I should try to approach the subject when I have lunch with her later today…
Chelsea: That experience still triggers her, you know that.
Kevin: She’ll listen to me. For all of the drama between you two, she knows I am always there for her just like I am with you. If there’s one so called ‘weakness’ about you that I really wish you would turn into a strength it’s believing in yourself a little more. Even with what you have happening now, you’ve still got plenty more to offer, alright? Don’t let this thing with Casey drag you down and if there are still demons from your past that you need to overcome, then overcome. I’ll never stop believing in you, alright? Be strong, if not for yourself, but for our twins. You’ve got a long flight to New York in a few hours to get that Five Lakes TV title, okay? I know it’s an uphill battle against someone that’s been bullying you over there, but you’ve got this.
Chelsea nods, taking in the words. In light of the widening rift between herself and Casey Holliday, among all the other happenings, most notably the match that she’s going to have later on the very evening.
----------------------------------------------------------
Chelsea’s Diary - On The Flight to Brooklyn
“You’re worthless.”
“You’re nobody.”
“You’re a burden.”
“Why did I bother raising you?”
Words from my father. The verbal abuse I dealt with from that man on a daily basis…
“Why can’t you be this way?”
“Why do you have to act like this?”
“This is not the way… THAT is the way…”
“I expect so much more out of you, Chelsea…”
Words from my mother. Not abusive, but very demeaning in some ways. My mother is the better (much better) of my two parents but I don’t feel like we’ve ever really bonded. In fact, when my twins were born, I feel like that’s the only time we ever had a memorable moment we shared together.
I’ve been buried under the weight of abuse and obscene expectations.
It doesn’t help that my parents got divorced and my father took me away from her when I was 9 years old.
The point is, I’ve never fully grasped the idea of believing in myself and showing that I can be strong. It’s REALLY hard and I’m having one of those days. I’ll be honest…
The undefeated streak in EHWF kind of adds a little more pressure.
The awards I won were nice, awesome even… but ‘obscene expectations’. Even with everything getting better, all it takes is one thing to go wrong and I’m back at square one: hating myself and reliving either the abuse from my father or the demeaning nature of my mother or even worse: both at once. Why can’t I be as strong as my mentor? What is it that Andrea did to pull herself together and be where she is today?
At least I have my lifelong best friend in Andrea to be there for me if things go wrong in Brooklyn tonight…
If I fail to beat Andrew Raynes for that TV title in Five Lakes Wrestling, I feel like I’m about to fall apart.
One day, I hope I can look in the mirror and really learn how to love myself…
But after yesterday’s event in EHWF, I feel like I have so far to go.
It’s so unreal how when the camera is off, I am sometimes bordering on being a wreck and yet, when the camera is on, it’s like I’m a completely different person with the insane ability to hide the pain I feel in my heart on a near-daily basis. I guess my background in being a wannabe TV star before wrestling and whatever acting skills I’ve developed weren’t a waste after all.
So I’ll just end it on some short affirmations. If I have to repeat these to myself on a regular basis until my mind buys in, then so be it.
I can do this.
I am strong.
I am wonderful.
I’m a champion every day.
I’m the best mom for my twins as I can be.
I can pull through anything that stands in my way.
I’m a winner.
I’m a survivor.
I’m a fighter.
Setbacks don’t define me, it’s how I respond to them.
I’ve shown that I respond to them really damn well!
Not even a drug addiction and being rock bottom to the point where I was the biggest joke in all of wrestling back in 2018… 2019… was enough to destroy me.
Perhaps I should remember that a little more often…
(TBC)
Chelsea LeClair is hurting quite a bit on the hours after Retribution. She’s having a quiet late night social call with her husband Kevin and they’re both about halfway through their meals with neither one having said a word up to this point. Chelsea is noticing that Kevin is really in a despondent mood at this point. She knows that something is bothering him and throughout their relationship, they’ve always been honest with each other even if it may hurt. Even though she knows this might be once of those instances where it hurts, she decides to break the ice.
Chelsea: So…?
Kevin looks at her.
Chelsea: This is pretty weird…
Kevin: How do you think I feel? I’m exhausted, Chels.
Chelsea: Yeah, I understand that last night’s show was a bit much and that I couldn’t compete in the Rumble because of everything that happened…
Kevin: I’m not talking about the Rumble…
Kevin lets out a sigh.
Kevin: I’m talking about you and Casey…
Chelsea lets out a sigh, realizing that this subject was going to come up sooner rather than later. She absolutely feels sorry for her husband, knowing that he’s caught between two women that he cares about very much.
Chelsea: You know I have tried my hardest to get along with her again but…
Kevin: Chelsea, I need you to please listen to me for a second. Do you realize how awkward this has been for me, getting caught between you two all the damn time? It just never stops. I know Casey can be a bit much, but at the same time, I don’t think you’ve ever really tried to address the fact that she feels that you “stole” me from her.
Chelsea: You and I both know that I didn’t, and I never would. What am I supposed to tell her? She’s got that belief stuck in her head.
Kevin: This whole rivalry between you both is going to get worse before it gets better and for me, personally? I don’t know how much I want to be involved. It’s tearing me apart…
Chelsea: Kevin…
Kevin: You’re my wife and the mother of our twins and we’ve had some amazing times together. We’ve overcome so much. We managed to start a family in spite of the fact that you couldn’t carry because of your past drug use and such. We’ve managed to somehow, someway get through the challenge of raising two newborns instead of one. But this rift between you both is just killing me. I understand Casey’s attitude has been grating, but that’s my sister… my TWIN sister, at that…
Whatever negative feelings that were going through the EHWF Junior Heavyweight Champion just became amplified.
Kevin: I’m sick of being caught in the middle of this. You both used to get along so well. In fact, it was your former friendship that resulted in you and I getting together. I’m worried that it’s starting to affect your career a little bit…
Chelsea: Is it? I mean… I understand where you’re coming from in terms of being caught in the middle. When this rift between Casey and I started, I had no idea it would last so long. But she’s so damn stubborn and it’s hard to get through to…
Kevin: Chelsea… please…
Chelsea: What am I supposed to say? What else am I supposed to do? I’ve TRIED to fix this, Kevin! When only one person is willing to…
Kevin: Will you please stop putting ALL the blame on Casey? You’re the one that refuses to even listen to what she has to say because you think what she has to say sounds ridiculous. She’s been telling you that she feels you “stole me” from her but rather than hear out her feelings, you dismiss it as if there’s no way to get through to her. You haven’t even “tried” to fix anything. I’m not taking her side. I’m not taking yours. You need to figure this out. Sure, you’re a double champion right now, but sometimes I feel like this whole thing has sucked the joy out of your career for you…
Chelsea, in her heart, doesn’t agree with that last part regarding her wrestling career. However, having just heard that she doesn’t even hear Casey out, something which she knows is true despite the fact that she doesn’t want to admit it, she manages to find enough patient in her heart to listen to what he has to say.
Kevin: You had an amazing journey in EHWF to win your title there. But leading up to that? You were an emotional wreck. Thank goodness cameras don’t capture that. I’m glad I’m one of the very few that has seen how the business really takes a toll on you. It was hard seeing you broken up and broken down through all of the stuff you were suffering through. I lost count of the nights you cried yourself to sleep because of some awful attack you went through in EHWF. I get it. Being attacked repeatedly by the same people and being stabbed in the back a couple of times wasn’t fun. But it hurt seeing you like that so much.
Chelsea continues to listen as she tries to find the words in her head.
Kevin: I really don’t want to get into the occasional instances on Twitter where you’ve expressed that you’re tired of being the bridesmaid and how easily you let a loss or something negative bother you. I just don’t.
Chelsea: If I’m so fragile, why did you marry me?
Kevin: SEE? Case in point.
Chelsea: Sorry I…
Chelsea lets out a sigh.
Chelsea: …I didn’t expect this today. It was hard enough having to team with that AWFUL woman from 5BW and then things between Casey and I getting even more crazy and I sometimes feel overwhelmed like I don’t know what to do and this is one of those times. You are so patient with me and I appreciate that more than I can put into words.
Kevin: We’re a team, okay? We always will be. I’m not going to leave your side. I understand how hard you have it. It wasn’t that long ago that Casey suffered through a horrible wrestling experience, remember? I really think she’s still broken from that and… maybe I should try to approach the subject when I have lunch with her later today…
Chelsea: That experience still triggers her, you know that.
Kevin: She’ll listen to me. For all of the drama between you two, she knows I am always there for her just like I am with you. If there’s one so called ‘weakness’ about you that I really wish you would turn into a strength it’s believing in yourself a little more. Even with what you have happening now, you’ve still got plenty more to offer, alright? Don’t let this thing with Casey drag you down and if there are still demons from your past that you need to overcome, then overcome. I’ll never stop believing in you, alright? Be strong, if not for yourself, but for our twins. You’ve got a long flight to New York in a few hours to get that Five Lakes TV title, okay? I know it’s an uphill battle against someone that’s been bullying you over there, but you’ve got this.
Chelsea nods, taking in the words. In light of the widening rift between herself and Casey Holliday, among all the other happenings, most notably the match that she’s going to have later on the very evening.
----------------------------------------------------------
Chelsea’s Diary - On The Flight to Brooklyn
“You’re worthless.”
“You’re nobody.”
“You’re a burden.”
“Why did I bother raising you?”
Words from my father. The verbal abuse I dealt with from that man on a daily basis…
“Why can’t you be this way?”
“Why do you have to act like this?”
“This is not the way… THAT is the way…”
“I expect so much more out of you, Chelsea…”
Words from my mother. Not abusive, but very demeaning in some ways. My mother is the better (much better) of my two parents but I don’t feel like we’ve ever really bonded. In fact, when my twins were born, I feel like that’s the only time we ever had a memorable moment we shared together.
I’ve been buried under the weight of abuse and obscene expectations.
It doesn’t help that my parents got divorced and my father took me away from her when I was 9 years old.
The point is, I’ve never fully grasped the idea of believing in myself and showing that I can be strong. It’s REALLY hard and I’m having one of those days. I’ll be honest…
The undefeated streak in EHWF kind of adds a little more pressure.
The awards I won were nice, awesome even… but ‘obscene expectations’. Even with everything getting better, all it takes is one thing to go wrong and I’m back at square one: hating myself and reliving either the abuse from my father or the demeaning nature of my mother or even worse: both at once. Why can’t I be as strong as my mentor? What is it that Andrea did to pull herself together and be where she is today?
At least I have my lifelong best friend in Andrea to be there for me if things go wrong in Brooklyn tonight…
If I fail to beat Andrew Raynes for that TV title in Five Lakes Wrestling, I feel like I’m about to fall apart.
One day, I hope I can look in the mirror and really learn how to love myself…
But after yesterday’s event in EHWF, I feel like I have so far to go.
It’s so unreal how when the camera is off, I am sometimes bordering on being a wreck and yet, when the camera is on, it’s like I’m a completely different person with the insane ability to hide the pain I feel in my heart on a near-daily basis. I guess my background in being a wannabe TV star before wrestling and whatever acting skills I’ve developed weren’t a waste after all.
So I’ll just end it on some short affirmations. If I have to repeat these to myself on a regular basis until my mind buys in, then so be it.
I can do this.
I am strong.
I am wonderful.
I’m a champion every day.
I’m the best mom for my twins as I can be.
I can pull through anything that stands in my way.
I’m a winner.
I’m a survivor.
I’m a fighter.
Setbacks don’t define me, it’s how I respond to them.
I’ve shown that I respond to them really damn well!
Not even a drug addiction and being rock bottom to the point where I was the biggest joke in all of wrestling back in 2018… 2019… was enough to destroy me.
Perhaps I should remember that a little more often…
(TBC)