Post by Amanda Fien on Feb 15, 2024 22:06:27 GMT -5
Scene: Phoenix, Arizona
Date: February 9th, 2024
Narrator: Amanda Fien
“I’m really starting to hate these hotel beds. Every time I go to a hotel room night after night, feeling like a gypsy, I want to scream and bang my head against a wall. However, I’m not going to spend all damn day worrying about a bed. I also know that I have a match coming up with me teaming with Chelsea LeClair, and honestly? I am not looking forward to this match up. I don’t care what Chelsea thinks of me at all. I am here for business. Though, my head is not even in this match up after reading my dad’s letter. The last time I read it was last week when I got done clean and I didn’t even bother reading it at all since.
I had to get something to eat because after a long flight from New York to Phoenix. I didn’t want to eat anything on the plane because I didn’t have my medicine since it was in my suitcase the whole entire trip. I went into my suitcase, saw my little medicine back and pulled out one of the two I needed to take - anti depressants. I started to take them in December of 2022, after I got let go from a company I was working for and putting my heart into it. My doctor upped my dose after everything that happened with the hostility towards me. I didn’t want to take it on an empty stomach at all. I proceeded to put my bag away and then looked to the left side where my bra was and saw a piece of paper sticking out. I didn’t think of it and closed up my bag half way. I stopped and reopened my bag to pull the paper out and guess what it was? The letter and on page 2.
I didn’t want to read it on an empty stomach, but my mind told me to do it. I got back on my bed, kicked my legs out and started to read it…
“Hayley, your graduation was supposed to be the best day of your life…..”
____________________________________________________________________________
June 13th, 2012
Wildwood High School Graduation
After four long years, it was time for the class of 2012 to finally graduate from college. Sure, there were rumors going around that 2012 was the end of the world, but that didn’t seem to bother anyone. Everyone had their cap and gowns on wearing our white and navy blue colors proudly. My last name began with “F” and it wouldn’t have taken long for my name to be called in a class of 840 classmates, though one of my classmates, Trey Dobbs, was the one that didn’t make it. He passed away in a car accident and I saw his girlfriend, Jessica, walk across the stage. She and I did not get along with one another for reasons. Nobody liked her and her group of friends because they were the meanest group of girls to come out of Wildwood. As soon as the last person walked across the stage, it was time for my row to stand back up. One by one, we all went up until I heard my name.
Principal: Hayley Amanda Fien!
Everyone clapped as I walked across the stage to receive my diploma, I looked out into the sea of the crowd. I saw my father, my aunt, Kaitlyn and my grandmother waving and taking pictures. I waved at them with a faint smile which eventually faded. My mother was not in the crowd at all. I walked down from the stage and walked back to my seat. I didn’t know why my mother, out of all people, would miss this day. The week before, she completely snapped at me and left the house as soon as my father went into the hospital. I had many thoughts going into my head as I watched the rest of my classmates finally get their diplomas.
The graduation ceremony finally ended and I met up with my father, aunt, grandma, Kaitlyn along with Pete, Finton and Gina. We all exchanged hugs with one another. More of my classmates came by and gave us all hugs. Though at the corner of my eye, I did see Jessica, Amy (Not 5BW’s Amy Harrison) and Jasmine with a look of “how dare I give these girls a hug”. They whispered and walked away as Gina turned to me as we started walking back.
Gina: What on earth are those girls' problems?
Hayley: It beats me. Throughout graduation, they were eying me like I was a piece of meat.
Gina: Well hopefully, we don’t have to see them during the summer or when we have to cross them in our adulthoods.
Finton came up right behind his girlfriend Gina and I along with Pete
Finton: This is Wildwood; everyone’s going to be down here one way or another, plus, I heard that they’re having a graduation party down at a club.
Hayley: A club? I thought Amy was caught at the club with someone older than her and he got arrested for it?
Finton: Yeah, but this club has teenagers, but knowing those three? They can get busted for anything.
Pete: Yeah, just like they did a couple of months ago at that rap party that some guy had in Delaware County, especially Clifton Heights.
Gina: Yeah, but that was Jessica who got caught there…
I knew what Gina was saying because there was stuff going around that Jessica had intimate relations with a lot of guys at that party. However, their party was not my priority. My father had one planned for me on Friday Afternoon, but tomorrow was Thursday and it was his appointment, but it was also the day I went back to my summer job at a restaurant on the boardwalk.
Thursday came along and I got up late. Sure it was summer vacation and all, and I had to be at my job by 11:00AM. That was the lunch shift I was working and with the days being nice, sunny and warm since summer was around the corner, everyone was going to be filling up with the rides and water parks being nearby. However, this is not the routine I was new at. I started working at this job when I was sixteen years old to get my first car. Even though I did dig into my savings for prom, I still wanted a car. I pulled out my purple T-Shirt and Jean shorts since that was our uniform, and turned on my rock playlist from 2012 to get ready.
As Flyleaf’s call you out blared in my room, I washed up in the bathroom. Of course, I wasn’t like the typical girl that would stand there for hours doing make up and making sure her hair was done right, I made myself look presentable instead of looking like a slob. As soon as I was done with everything from washing up and getting dressed. It was time to leave for work. Right then and there, I saw my dad at the table as I turned to him.
Hayley: Hey, Dad, I am heading for work.
Dad was silent and didn’t say a word. He was staring at his phone.
Hayley: Dad? Is everything OK?
He looked up as he saw Hayley near him.
Timothy: Yeah, I am fine. Be safe at work and I’ll talk later tonight.
Hayley: Thank you..
As soon as I left the house, I heard his phone ring and heard him pick up. He was talking to someone, but I didn’t catch who it was. I was always told if something went wrong, they would tell me. That day, I went to work like normal and had nearly seven tables. We rely on our tips to make our money and knowing me, when someone came in on vacation, especially during the lunch hour, that’s when the big bucks came in. My shift ended at 5:00, but I decided to stay on the boardwalk for a bit and wondered about my dad and that call. I remembered the other night he was rushed to the hospital and the phone call that came from my grandmother. I proceeded to leave the boardwalk and head back home. Right then and there, I saw my sister, Kaitlyn with her friend, Emma.
Kaitlyn: If you’re heading back home, I am going to give you a warning. Dad’s playing this song over and over again.
Hayley: Is he OK?
Kaitlyn shook her head over and over again as I wondered about the song. Was it a good song, or a bad song? Finally, I got home and heard the song my sister was talking about….”
Oh is this a blessing or is it a curse?
Does it get any better? Can it get any worse?
Will it go on forever or is it over tonight?
Does it come with the darkness? Does it bring out the light?
I proceeded to follow the song to his room and that’s when I saw him, sitting on his bed and staring at the pictures of my mother, Kailtyn, myself, his parents and family pictures all around. It made sense with the song. He received bad news. I didn’t ask him nor did I bother him. I went into my room, sat at my little desk I had and looked at the yearbook. Just then, I heard a loud yell.
“TIMOTHY!!!”
It was the sound of my mother’s voice. The music then stopped and I heard my father go down the steps to see what my mother wanted.
Deanna: I called you all day on your phone and you didn’t pick up?
Timothy: I was at the doctors as I told you.
Deanna did not want to hear it.
Deanna: I don’t care if you were at the doctors all day! If I need to speak with you, then I need to speak with you.
Timothy rolled his eyes.
Timothy: The same could be said about you! You were gone for 3 days and you MISSED Hayley’s graduation along with this!
Deanna: I had work!
Timothy: No mother or wife should leave their kid behind on the biggest day of their life along with their husband’s health being on the line!
I walked out of the room to hear this. Something told me this was not going to end well.
Deanna: What was so important that you wanted to tell me?
Timothy let out a huge sigh.
Timothy: Remember the other day, when I was spitting up blood, not eating, going to the bathroom and eventually fainting before having my mother and Meghan rush me to the hospital.
I stood on the steps and walked down.
Timothy: And then they ran tests on me and ultimately found a tumor on my lungs…
He keeps his eyes on her
Timothy: Guess what Deanna? This is going to be the biggest battle of my life because I have lung cancer….
I fell down the steps after that announcement. Both of them turned around and saw me. I was frozen and shaken with my eyes watering. My father had lung cancer. Nobody at his age, especially at 43, was not supposed to get cancer. However, I remember my idol growing up, having lung cancer after he started smoking again after the 9/11 attacks. I wrote a card for him, but never was able to send it when it was announced that he died. Like the Dave Matthews song “Gravedigger” anyone can die at any age.
My mother couldn’t take the news of my father having cancer so she decided to yet again, go out. Kaitlyn was staying over with her friends and somehow we had to tell her. I saw my dad sit on the bed again and stared at the window. I proceeded to walk in and sit next to him.
Timothy: I wanted to tell you one on one, but your mother….
Hayley shook her head.
Hayley: Dad, let me ask you this question? Do you think Mom loves you?
He stood there frozen before answering her.
Timothy: I don’t know, Hayley. I really don’t know. I don’t know if she wants me to defeat cancer…
I sighed knowing how cold that was, especially coming from my father.
Timothy: But I do know this, I HAVE to defeat it for you girls!
____________________________________________________________________________
Back to the present…
My father mentioned in the note that my mother would come home later that night and didn’t even ask if he was OK. She grabbed most of her things from their room and went into the room next to Kaitlyn’s room and slammed the door. She went out the following day and didn’t come back until Tuesday. He also said that he didn’t want to suspect what was going on because he was about to battle cancer. However, that weekend was the graduation party, but there was an incident that happened after Hayley got done work where she was involved in a fight with three girls that was brought to the attention of a promotion that would change everything between the family, her and Pete.
That’s where the note ended. I didn’t want to know what was next because I still had to take my medicine along with eating something before I passed out. Though it became pretty clear, that it was only going to get worse by the words. I stood up and looked in the mirror that was in the bathroom and stared at it hard. I had questions going on in my head about everything that had happened, and soon or later, everyone in 5BW, the world and my new promotion, EHWF, was going to find out the actual truth about why I “lost my mind”.
Date: February 9th, 2024
Narrator: Amanda Fien
“I’m really starting to hate these hotel beds. Every time I go to a hotel room night after night, feeling like a gypsy, I want to scream and bang my head against a wall. However, I’m not going to spend all damn day worrying about a bed. I also know that I have a match coming up with me teaming with Chelsea LeClair, and honestly? I am not looking forward to this match up. I don’t care what Chelsea thinks of me at all. I am here for business. Though, my head is not even in this match up after reading my dad’s letter. The last time I read it was last week when I got done clean and I didn’t even bother reading it at all since.
I had to get something to eat because after a long flight from New York to Phoenix. I didn’t want to eat anything on the plane because I didn’t have my medicine since it was in my suitcase the whole entire trip. I went into my suitcase, saw my little medicine back and pulled out one of the two I needed to take - anti depressants. I started to take them in December of 2022, after I got let go from a company I was working for and putting my heart into it. My doctor upped my dose after everything that happened with the hostility towards me. I didn’t want to take it on an empty stomach at all. I proceeded to put my bag away and then looked to the left side where my bra was and saw a piece of paper sticking out. I didn’t think of it and closed up my bag half way. I stopped and reopened my bag to pull the paper out and guess what it was? The letter and on page 2.
I didn’t want to read it on an empty stomach, but my mind told me to do it. I got back on my bed, kicked my legs out and started to read it…
“Hayley, your graduation was supposed to be the best day of your life…..”
____________________________________________________________________________
June 13th, 2012
Wildwood High School Graduation
After four long years, it was time for the class of 2012 to finally graduate from college. Sure, there were rumors going around that 2012 was the end of the world, but that didn’t seem to bother anyone. Everyone had their cap and gowns on wearing our white and navy blue colors proudly. My last name began with “F” and it wouldn’t have taken long for my name to be called in a class of 840 classmates, though one of my classmates, Trey Dobbs, was the one that didn’t make it. He passed away in a car accident and I saw his girlfriend, Jessica, walk across the stage. She and I did not get along with one another for reasons. Nobody liked her and her group of friends because they were the meanest group of girls to come out of Wildwood. As soon as the last person walked across the stage, it was time for my row to stand back up. One by one, we all went up until I heard my name.
Principal: Hayley Amanda Fien!
Everyone clapped as I walked across the stage to receive my diploma, I looked out into the sea of the crowd. I saw my father, my aunt, Kaitlyn and my grandmother waving and taking pictures. I waved at them with a faint smile which eventually faded. My mother was not in the crowd at all. I walked down from the stage and walked back to my seat. I didn’t know why my mother, out of all people, would miss this day. The week before, she completely snapped at me and left the house as soon as my father went into the hospital. I had many thoughts going into my head as I watched the rest of my classmates finally get their diplomas.
The graduation ceremony finally ended and I met up with my father, aunt, grandma, Kaitlyn along with Pete, Finton and Gina. We all exchanged hugs with one another. More of my classmates came by and gave us all hugs. Though at the corner of my eye, I did see Jessica, Amy (Not 5BW’s Amy Harrison) and Jasmine with a look of “how dare I give these girls a hug”. They whispered and walked away as Gina turned to me as we started walking back.
Gina: What on earth are those girls' problems?
Hayley: It beats me. Throughout graduation, they were eying me like I was a piece of meat.
Gina: Well hopefully, we don’t have to see them during the summer or when we have to cross them in our adulthoods.
Finton came up right behind his girlfriend Gina and I along with Pete
Finton: This is Wildwood; everyone’s going to be down here one way or another, plus, I heard that they’re having a graduation party down at a club.
Hayley: A club? I thought Amy was caught at the club with someone older than her and he got arrested for it?
Finton: Yeah, but this club has teenagers, but knowing those three? They can get busted for anything.
Pete: Yeah, just like they did a couple of months ago at that rap party that some guy had in Delaware County, especially Clifton Heights.
Gina: Yeah, but that was Jessica who got caught there…
I knew what Gina was saying because there was stuff going around that Jessica had intimate relations with a lot of guys at that party. However, their party was not my priority. My father had one planned for me on Friday Afternoon, but tomorrow was Thursday and it was his appointment, but it was also the day I went back to my summer job at a restaurant on the boardwalk.
Thursday came along and I got up late. Sure it was summer vacation and all, and I had to be at my job by 11:00AM. That was the lunch shift I was working and with the days being nice, sunny and warm since summer was around the corner, everyone was going to be filling up with the rides and water parks being nearby. However, this is not the routine I was new at. I started working at this job when I was sixteen years old to get my first car. Even though I did dig into my savings for prom, I still wanted a car. I pulled out my purple T-Shirt and Jean shorts since that was our uniform, and turned on my rock playlist from 2012 to get ready.
As Flyleaf’s call you out blared in my room, I washed up in the bathroom. Of course, I wasn’t like the typical girl that would stand there for hours doing make up and making sure her hair was done right, I made myself look presentable instead of looking like a slob. As soon as I was done with everything from washing up and getting dressed. It was time to leave for work. Right then and there, I saw my dad at the table as I turned to him.
Hayley: Hey, Dad, I am heading for work.
Dad was silent and didn’t say a word. He was staring at his phone.
Hayley: Dad? Is everything OK?
He looked up as he saw Hayley near him.
Timothy: Yeah, I am fine. Be safe at work and I’ll talk later tonight.
Hayley: Thank you..
As soon as I left the house, I heard his phone ring and heard him pick up. He was talking to someone, but I didn’t catch who it was. I was always told if something went wrong, they would tell me. That day, I went to work like normal and had nearly seven tables. We rely on our tips to make our money and knowing me, when someone came in on vacation, especially during the lunch hour, that’s when the big bucks came in. My shift ended at 5:00, but I decided to stay on the boardwalk for a bit and wondered about my dad and that call. I remembered the other night he was rushed to the hospital and the phone call that came from my grandmother. I proceeded to leave the boardwalk and head back home. Right then and there, I saw my sister, Kaitlyn with her friend, Emma.
Kaitlyn: If you’re heading back home, I am going to give you a warning. Dad’s playing this song over and over again.
Hayley: Is he OK?
Kaitlyn shook her head over and over again as I wondered about the song. Was it a good song, or a bad song? Finally, I got home and heard the song my sister was talking about….”
Oh is this a blessing or is it a curse?
Does it get any better? Can it get any worse?
Will it go on forever or is it over tonight?
Does it come with the darkness? Does it bring out the light?
I proceeded to follow the song to his room and that’s when I saw him, sitting on his bed and staring at the pictures of my mother, Kailtyn, myself, his parents and family pictures all around. It made sense with the song. He received bad news. I didn’t ask him nor did I bother him. I went into my room, sat at my little desk I had and looked at the yearbook. Just then, I heard a loud yell.
“TIMOTHY!!!”
It was the sound of my mother’s voice. The music then stopped and I heard my father go down the steps to see what my mother wanted.
Deanna: I called you all day on your phone and you didn’t pick up?
Timothy: I was at the doctors as I told you.
Deanna did not want to hear it.
Deanna: I don’t care if you were at the doctors all day! If I need to speak with you, then I need to speak with you.
Timothy rolled his eyes.
Timothy: The same could be said about you! You were gone for 3 days and you MISSED Hayley’s graduation along with this!
Deanna: I had work!
Timothy: No mother or wife should leave their kid behind on the biggest day of their life along with their husband’s health being on the line!
I walked out of the room to hear this. Something told me this was not going to end well.
Deanna: What was so important that you wanted to tell me?
Timothy let out a huge sigh.
Timothy: Remember the other day, when I was spitting up blood, not eating, going to the bathroom and eventually fainting before having my mother and Meghan rush me to the hospital.
I stood on the steps and walked down.
Timothy: And then they ran tests on me and ultimately found a tumor on my lungs…
He keeps his eyes on her
Timothy: Guess what Deanna? This is going to be the biggest battle of my life because I have lung cancer….
I fell down the steps after that announcement. Both of them turned around and saw me. I was frozen and shaken with my eyes watering. My father had lung cancer. Nobody at his age, especially at 43, was not supposed to get cancer. However, I remember my idol growing up, having lung cancer after he started smoking again after the 9/11 attacks. I wrote a card for him, but never was able to send it when it was announced that he died. Like the Dave Matthews song “Gravedigger” anyone can die at any age.
My mother couldn’t take the news of my father having cancer so she decided to yet again, go out. Kaitlyn was staying over with her friends and somehow we had to tell her. I saw my dad sit on the bed again and stared at the window. I proceeded to walk in and sit next to him.
Timothy: I wanted to tell you one on one, but your mother….
Hayley shook her head.
Hayley: Dad, let me ask you this question? Do you think Mom loves you?
He stood there frozen before answering her.
Timothy: I don’t know, Hayley. I really don’t know. I don’t know if she wants me to defeat cancer…
I sighed knowing how cold that was, especially coming from my father.
Timothy: But I do know this, I HAVE to defeat it for you girls!
____________________________________________________________________________
Back to the present…
My father mentioned in the note that my mother would come home later that night and didn’t even ask if he was OK. She grabbed most of her things from their room and went into the room next to Kaitlyn’s room and slammed the door. She went out the following day and didn’t come back until Tuesday. He also said that he didn’t want to suspect what was going on because he was about to battle cancer. However, that weekend was the graduation party, but there was an incident that happened after Hayley got done work where she was involved in a fight with three girls that was brought to the attention of a promotion that would change everything between the family, her and Pete.
That’s where the note ended. I didn’t want to know what was next because I still had to take my medicine along with eating something before I passed out. Though it became pretty clear, that it was only going to get worse by the words. I stood up and looked in the mirror that was in the bathroom and stared at it hard. I had questions going on in my head about everything that had happened, and soon or later, everyone in 5BW, the world and my new promotion, EHWF, was going to find out the actual truth about why I “lost my mind”.