Post by ireed on Mar 9, 2013 21:31:56 GMT -5
Hail to the Chief begins to play as a podium reads: "We Need More Dick" is set-up. A new comer to most but a familiar name in the staff offices of EHWF, Dick B. White formerly known as the Public Relations officer has resigned to peruse becoming the new General Manager of Mayhem. He takes the podium and appears to be drunk as he does.
Dick B. White
Not a lot of you know me, so let me be the first to introduce myself. My name is....
He looks down at his note cards.
Dick B. White
My name is Dick B. White and I was the Public Relations/Human Resources officer for EHWF. And after watching Mayhem and seeing that the office of General Manager is up for grabs I would announce my candidacy. And why should you pick me you ask? Well I am fucking classy. I am a working class man much like the rest of you. And I enjoy the simpler things in life. I drink expensive whiskey and I let random girls visit my office after hours. A role model if you will. And after my time as serving the better interested of the sexual harassed many which I won't like I harassed myself, regardless I have bonded with many of these people through restraining orders and lawsuits. Because of my experience I hope you, yes you listening to me right now... I hope you vote for me.
He smiles for the camera.
Dick B. White
Remember to vote for me, because everybody could use more Dick!
The scene fades.
Dick B. White
Not a lot of you know me, so let me be the first to introduce myself. My name is....
He looks down at his note cards.
Dick B. White
My name is Dick B. White and I was the Public Relations/Human Resources officer for EHWF. And after watching Mayhem and seeing that the office of General Manager is up for grabs I would announce my candidacy. And why should you pick me you ask? Well I am fucking classy. I am a working class man much like the rest of you. And I enjoy the simpler things in life. I drink expensive whiskey and I let random girls visit my office after hours. A role model if you will. And after my time as serving the better interested of the sexual harassed many which I won't like I harassed myself, regardless I have bonded with many of these people through restraining orders and lawsuits. Because of my experience I hope you, yes you listening to me right now... I hope you vote for me.
He smiles for the camera.
Dick B. White
Remember to vote for me, because everybody could use more Dick!
The scene fades.