Roleplay Feed Back

[davis]

So, I just posted a roleplay for my match this week on mayhem...if you read it just let me know what you think... Thanks

[Deleted]

Okay so I did read your rp and it has a good message but there are a few little things I think that need to be corrected for future rps. First, there are a few spelling mistakes, just make sure you proofread before posting it.

Really thats the only mistake you made. Like I said, good promo rp and good work getting your message across to your opponent. If I can make one suggestion and this is only because I don't like doing it, but try not to use the pictures in the rp. It takes longer for the internet web base to load your rp and also I dont think it does that well for a rp in general. Instead try letting us, the readers, imagine the back ground that your in and use more descriptions to set that tone. Maybe it will work for you, maybe not, but it may be worth a try.

Thats about it. Have any questions on my feed back do let me know.n Glad to have you aboard in EHWF

[drakecoleman]

Positives-
-Healthy Length (not stressed or stretched in any form or fashion)
-Gets your point across
-Easy to read. It isn't all black and white.
- Use of other characters. Always good to see character development.

Negatives-
-PICTURES! UGHHHHH!! Use description to help us picture things. Don't use pictures for that. It helps get us pulled in if you describe things. To sit there and use a picture of a ring with your wrestler in it is just killing the creative mojo.
-Spell check my friend. spell check. (not a biggy.)

All and all it is a good start considering your just joining us. Thank you for your early submitting in the boards. Its always good to help us result writers by giving us your rp early so we can go ahead and grade it!

[Deleted]

Thanks Coleman for just saying exactly what I did

[drakecoleman]

not quite brother. XD. we named the same mistakes but i did go in detail on what he did right.

Give me some credit bro!! XD

anyway. i didn't even read yours. my bad. lmao next time I will so I don't "copy" you

[Deleted]

I said what he did right was the message to his opponent haha. I think that was what you said.

Its all good man just busting your chops

[drakecoleman]

my poor chops