Post by Deleted on May 22, 2014 14:29:55 GMT -5
(OOC: Just a little something to start to get rid of the rust and work on my slightly altered style of writing. )
You know this isn't going to be easy, right?
I stood there for a moment, processing that. Of course I knew it wasn't going to be. It was probably going to end up being one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life, which is really saying something...
Trust me, I know that Chris. This whole situation.... the past.... the present.... there isn't a single part of this that is going to be the slightest bit easy.
Then why are you doing it? If you know it's going to be this difficult to do all of this, then why do it? Why bother with it at all? Don't you finally like life how it is? Aren't you happy with actually being able to be a normal person? Having to deal with normal people problems like which brand of peanut butter to choose from?
As if that's ever a difficult decision.
That's the point I'm trying to make David. What's so wrong about being a normal person? Being away from the spotlight? Being away from....
From my entire life? From the one thing that's always been a constant in my life? From the one thing I've been doing for over 10 years now and the one thing that got me through everything I ever had to deal with? Trust me, there's a point to it all.
I could tell he wasn't really happy with the answer, but I didn't care. He wasn't happy with me right now and the decisions I was making, that was clearly obvious. However, it wasn't his life that the decisions were being made about, it was mine. And although I've made a lot of "intelligent" and "clear-minded" decisions in the past, this one was definitely clear and the right choice.
Chris grabbed another box out of the bedroom and started to leave the room with it when he happened to notice something in the box. He set it down and opened it up as I continued packing yet another box. I always hated this part about moving, packing everything up in boxes only to unpack them later on. Although to be fair, this time around I wasn't going to be doing the unpacking for at least about 95% of these boxes.
You kept this?
I had no idea what he was talking about until I turned my head in his direction and laid my eyes on the object he had in his hand.... I was hoping he wasn't going to end up seeing that....
I did. Felt like it wasn't really right to throw it away or anything like that.
Yeah, but David, you should have gotten rid of this a while ago.
Why do you think I'm doing it now?
It's because you still care about her. You still love her.
I sighed then, one of the last topics I wanted to get into at this point in time was her. Regardless of how long it had been, it's not like I didn't wake up every night afterwards, then every other night, then every 3rd night, then once a week, and now down to once every couple of weeks, in a cold sweat because of the nightmares she brought. The nightmares she caused to fill my head....
I did Chris. And always will. But that's why I'm getting rid of it now. Get rid of the past. And move on to the present and the future.
That's why you're going back to professional wrestling and the EHWF. Because you're focusing on moving on to the present and the future.
That's different. Professional wrestling is my life. And the EHWF at this point is the only place that would give me a chance. After all, despite trying to shed my past, it still precedes me anywhere I go.
What if she shows up there David? What are you going to do then? What are you going to do if once again she finds her way back into your life?
(sighing) I....
You'll take her back, just like before. You'll bring her back into your life just like before. And everything that's happened will happen again. And...
I turned completely towards him now, which he noticed and trailed off with what he was saying. He looked at me, who I was now. More importantly, he looked at my chest. Knowing that underneath the black vest I wore, underneath the black Avenged Sevenfold tank top I had on, there was a scar there. Next to the one I've had for quite some time now. And knowing that the second scar, the newer one, was there for a more permanent reason then the first one was. I briefly touched the part of my chest where the scar was, as if I could feel his stare at it, then dropped my hand down to my side again.
That's where you're wrong Chris. She, and everyone else from my past, are just that, part of the past. Just like my old heart is. Part of the past. Just like you will be after today. Just like everyone and everything will be after this. Most of this stuff will be donated or sold with the money going to charity. I'll keep a few things, but nothing necessarily reminding of the past. And I become a reborn person. I will have to pay for my sins, for the pain I caused, for the heartbreak I created, for the agony that was my own doing. I will have to deal with the already pre-convieced notion of who I am and what I do. I won't be able to erase that, but I will leave it in the past. And move on.
Soon, you, Ash, Daniel, Nate, the XWF, Columbus, the World title reigns, "The Nightmare", Jovah, and everything else will be nothing more then just memories from the past. Nothing more. Nothing less. And that does include her Chris. She made her decision and although it took me quite some time to come to it, I've made mine. It's as simple as that. Now can we stop spending the last of our time together arguing about whether I'm going to let someone that destroyed my life, took me down a very dark path that I almost didn't recover from, and tossed me aside the first chance she got and finish this up so we can go do something one last time together?
The tension in the room was pretty thick, but not because he was angry or pissed off or anything. He knew it was coming, he just didn't realize how for sure it was until I said it just now. He looked like he had just been punched in the gut only without the doubling over part. I stood there, part of me wanting to console him because this was the guy who had been my best friend for over 10 years now, but the rest of me stood firm where I was, knowing that decision would just make the ultimate one even harder. He finally put the object back in the box and closed it up before leaving the bedroom and heading down the stairs.
I took a look around the bedroom, the memories that filled this room, that filled the whole house, flowing through my head right now. However, to be on the road to recovery, I needed to eliminate it all. Everything from the past had to be just that, only from the past. I picked up another item and looked at it. A picture that I still had of me and.... her.... I looked at it for a little bit, the memory of the picture coming back to me instantly.... until I ripped the picture in half and tossed it in the trash bag. After all, in order to recover, I had to completely move on. No matter how difficult it was....
You know this isn't going to be easy, right?
I stood there for a moment, processing that. Of course I knew it wasn't going to be. It was probably going to end up being one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life, which is really saying something...
Trust me, I know that Chris. This whole situation.... the past.... the present.... there isn't a single part of this that is going to be the slightest bit easy.
Then why are you doing it? If you know it's going to be this difficult to do all of this, then why do it? Why bother with it at all? Don't you finally like life how it is? Aren't you happy with actually being able to be a normal person? Having to deal with normal people problems like which brand of peanut butter to choose from?
As if that's ever a difficult decision.
That's the point I'm trying to make David. What's so wrong about being a normal person? Being away from the spotlight? Being away from....
From my entire life? From the one thing that's always been a constant in my life? From the one thing I've been doing for over 10 years now and the one thing that got me through everything I ever had to deal with? Trust me, there's a point to it all.
I could tell he wasn't really happy with the answer, but I didn't care. He wasn't happy with me right now and the decisions I was making, that was clearly obvious. However, it wasn't his life that the decisions were being made about, it was mine. And although I've made a lot of "intelligent" and "clear-minded" decisions in the past, this one was definitely clear and the right choice.
Chris grabbed another box out of the bedroom and started to leave the room with it when he happened to notice something in the box. He set it down and opened it up as I continued packing yet another box. I always hated this part about moving, packing everything up in boxes only to unpack them later on. Although to be fair, this time around I wasn't going to be doing the unpacking for at least about 95% of these boxes.
You kept this?
I had no idea what he was talking about until I turned my head in his direction and laid my eyes on the object he had in his hand.... I was hoping he wasn't going to end up seeing that....
I did. Felt like it wasn't really right to throw it away or anything like that.
Yeah, but David, you should have gotten rid of this a while ago.
Why do you think I'm doing it now?
It's because you still care about her. You still love her.
I sighed then, one of the last topics I wanted to get into at this point in time was her. Regardless of how long it had been, it's not like I didn't wake up every night afterwards, then every other night, then every 3rd night, then once a week, and now down to once every couple of weeks, in a cold sweat because of the nightmares she brought. The nightmares she caused to fill my head....
I did Chris. And always will. But that's why I'm getting rid of it now. Get rid of the past. And move on to the present and the future.
That's why you're going back to professional wrestling and the EHWF. Because you're focusing on moving on to the present and the future.
That's different. Professional wrestling is my life. And the EHWF at this point is the only place that would give me a chance. After all, despite trying to shed my past, it still precedes me anywhere I go.
What if she shows up there David? What are you going to do then? What are you going to do if once again she finds her way back into your life?
(sighing) I....
You'll take her back, just like before. You'll bring her back into your life just like before. And everything that's happened will happen again. And...
I turned completely towards him now, which he noticed and trailed off with what he was saying. He looked at me, who I was now. More importantly, he looked at my chest. Knowing that underneath the black vest I wore, underneath the black Avenged Sevenfold tank top I had on, there was a scar there. Next to the one I've had for quite some time now. And knowing that the second scar, the newer one, was there for a more permanent reason then the first one was. I briefly touched the part of my chest where the scar was, as if I could feel his stare at it, then dropped my hand down to my side again.
That's where you're wrong Chris. She, and everyone else from my past, are just that, part of the past. Just like my old heart is. Part of the past. Just like you will be after today. Just like everyone and everything will be after this. Most of this stuff will be donated or sold with the money going to charity. I'll keep a few things, but nothing necessarily reminding of the past. And I become a reborn person. I will have to pay for my sins, for the pain I caused, for the heartbreak I created, for the agony that was my own doing. I will have to deal with the already pre-convieced notion of who I am and what I do. I won't be able to erase that, but I will leave it in the past. And move on.
Soon, you, Ash, Daniel, Nate, the XWF, Columbus, the World title reigns, "The Nightmare", Jovah, and everything else will be nothing more then just memories from the past. Nothing more. Nothing less. And that does include her Chris. She made her decision and although it took me quite some time to come to it, I've made mine. It's as simple as that. Now can we stop spending the last of our time together arguing about whether I'm going to let someone that destroyed my life, took me down a very dark path that I almost didn't recover from, and tossed me aside the first chance she got and finish this up so we can go do something one last time together?
The tension in the room was pretty thick, but not because he was angry or pissed off or anything. He knew it was coming, he just didn't realize how for sure it was until I said it just now. He looked like he had just been punched in the gut only without the doubling over part. I stood there, part of me wanting to console him because this was the guy who had been my best friend for over 10 years now, but the rest of me stood firm where I was, knowing that decision would just make the ultimate one even harder. He finally put the object back in the box and closed it up before leaving the bedroom and heading down the stairs.
I took a look around the bedroom, the memories that filled this room, that filled the whole house, flowing through my head right now. However, to be on the road to recovery, I needed to eliminate it all. Everything from the past had to be just that, only from the past. I picked up another item and looked at it. A picture that I still had of me and.... her.... I looked at it for a little bit, the memory of the picture coming back to me instantly.... until I ripped the picture in half and tossed it in the trash bag. After all, in order to recover, I had to completely move on. No matter how difficult it was....